I think we might be getting somewhere!!

Happy Thursday night in Iceland! 

Since last time, things have been a little busy, but also not too busy. 

I received the results from the tonsil test earlier this week, which was supposed to be a turning point. However, it didn't end up being a complete turning point. The test came back negative, meaning they did not find anything in my tonsils that was out of the ordinary. Great news!! Buuuut now they had found a new bacteria and possibly an infection around my heart. I have been having high fevers this week, where it went over 39 degrees C (102 degrees F) three days in a row. Every time, my fever went over 38 degrees, they took a blood sample to see if anything had changed in my blood. So in one of those samples, they had found a bacteria that could indicate that I had endocarditis (inflammation of one of the layers surrounding my heart). This was kind of big deal, because if it was, I would have to receive antibiotics through IV (straight into my blood) for many weeks in the hospital. 

All of this new information was a little devastating! Just the fact that I felt like there was always something new when I thought we would finally be at an "end point". This was on Tuesday and they ordered a test for endocarditis, which is an ultrasound that goes through my trachea to look at my heart valves. I had that test done this morning! I had to fast from midnight and then they gave me similar numbing and relaxing agent to when I had the gastrostomy done, which was nice because I didn't feel much and wasn't quite present during the procedure. They rolled me back to my room in my bed and I slept for at least an hour until the relaxant was out of my body. The results from this test were supposed to come back the same day!!! yay! 

Since last time I have been receiving more gifts and presents, which I am so thankful for! I received these super soft pajamas from my aunt! I also got a super cozy outfit from Ryan, that's perfect for the hospital. I completely forgot to take a picture though (sorry babe)! I will make sure to attach a picture next time :) 

I have now been in the hospital for 16 days!! How crazy is that?!! I just can't believe it! This week made me want to not just wear ugly white hospital clothing, but acutely get dressed in the morning and put cloths on that are mine. It really does make a difference to get up in the morning, get dressed and do your hair. It makes you feel a little more alive in the mist of all this. So yeah cozy cloths, pajamas and warms socks is perfect right now. 

I have also received so many gifts with all kinds of facial creams, masks, lotions and those kinds of things! I am so incredibly excited to use it all. Also the nail polish ;) With all the time I have on my hands and all this, dang! I am going to look like 17 when I walk out of here! 

Ryan has of course still been his amazing self! Making sure to come visit my window at least every other day! It always makes me so happy to just hangout for a little bit! and yesterday he ordered pizza from my favorite pizza place in Iceland (I know it's "just" dominos, but I LOVE IT!!) and brought it to the window! So we had a little pizza date for dinner ;) One night he also brought hot chocolates and treats from the bakery. We are for sure making the most of it. 

I started PT this week, where I did exercises with the physical therapist working on my floor. It felt so nice to exercise! Even though the exercises weren't complicated. And today he took me upstairs to the gym and I biked for 10 minutes on the stationary bike. That was a victory in itself, especially after taking the stairs from first to forth floor. I did sleep for 2 hours after that, but that doesn't have to be included ;) It felt extremely nice to get moving! I am still extremely weak, and I have been losing my balance a little bit (just due to weakness I think), but I think I am feeling slightly better the last few days. I just have to keep making sure to eat as much as I can and do some light exercises and walking in the hallways when I feel like I can (have energy to). 

I have not had any fever today, so that's great!! Hopefully it stays like that :) 

Now the real news!! 

I don't have endocarditis!! WOHOOOO!  How amazing!! What a relieve!! It made me so happy! 

Buuuuut, that also means that they still have not figured out what has caused my spleen to be so enlarged! haha I am a complete medical mystery. But they have now decided that I will have the surgery mid next week to remove my spleen. It is all they have left to do to try to figure out what is going on. After my spleen is removed, they are going to have to do multiple tests and try to figure out what is going on and what caused it to get so enlarged. That will take about two days and then I will be informed about what comes next. The surgery might be enough, or I might need some kinda of following treatment, but no one knows at this point. 

How do i feel about it? They are removing an organ permanently from my body.. 

Honestly, I feel like I have been prepared that this might be what has to be done for a while now, so I don't feel too sad about it. I am honestly kind of relieved that things are getting done and that I am getting closer to the end of being sick and a new beginning. I could possibly be hiding my feelings a little bit, but right now, I feel okay about it. I just have to pray for a successful surgery and good recovery. 

What does life look like without a spleen? 

Living without a spleen is apparently pretty easy and I am supposed to be able to live a fairly normal life. I did receive three vaccines last week that are supposed to prepare my body for not having a spleen. Then future wise, I will have to get boosters for those vaccines every couple of years or so. Other than that, I will always have to own antibiotics at home in case if I get sick. Meaning, if I get sick and have a fever, I have to start taking antibiotics right way. My body will not be able to work it out on its own like it would normally do (normally, we can just wait for few days while the body is fighting it on it own and then you're healthy again). Other questions I had for the doctor were if I had to be worried around a lot of people? How poor will my immune system actually be? My doctors comforted me and said that I have nothing to worry about and and that I can live my life completely like before. The only thing that will be different is that IF and WHEN I get fever. When it comes to becoming pregnant and wanting to have children, things are supposed to be completely normal and there are no additional risks. All this has comforted me and helped me stress less about my future without a spleen. 

What's next for me now is to stay in the hospital and wait for the surgery! I don't have the exact surgery date yet, but they said mid next week sometime. So hopefully Wednesday. Until then, I will be making sure to stay "healthy", try to stay fever less and work with my physical therapist. Otherwise, the biggest part now is to stay positive, stay sane and stay busy within my tiny little room. Gray's Anatomy has been helping me a ton with that this week! What a great show :) 

Thanks again for all love and support, I couldn't do it without you guys!! 

Have a wonderful day ♡