We Got More Bad News

March 10, 2022

We Got More Bad News

Hello everyone,

It’s Ryan, I think you may be hearing more from me as María continues her treatment. She’s just not strong enough to sit down and type what’s going on at this time. But I told her I can help her :)

As you can see, the last month hasn’t been easy on us. We’ve been to the ER four times, she’s had to take the ambulance because our car broke down, our car was then declared totaled due to a bad engine and then we were car-less (which caused lots of stress because we often go to the ER in the middle of the night when she’s in severe pain), etc. But María’s parents were a major help with letting us borrow their car and helping us get a new one! They have also been a major help with our dogs and we couldn't be happier knowing they are in great hands!

Since María’s first treatment, we did very little of sitting around, relaxing & watching Netflix. She has spent most of her time laying in bed with SEVERE pain, running to the bathroom during dinner to puke (actually many times during the day), and we both have been trying to figure out what medicines work best for her. Some medicines cause nausea, some cause constepaietion, and some are too strong and make her puke. She often has to choose between feeling more nauseous or more pain from day-to-day because there was never any good balance. She can never fully be relieved from both unfortunately.

On the rare moments she is feeling better, she doesn’t want to write about her struggles (which is totally understandable). So we often go outside for some fresh air with the dogs to feel the sunshine and to get some exercise in. One night out of 3 weeks we actually laid on the couch together and watched a film, and for a moment, we were able to forget everything and enjoy life together.

Thankfully, one of María’s best friends from Iceland was coming to Norway on a family vacation to a town that’s just an hour drive away from our house. So she spent one night at our house and was able to get some quality time in with María. It was super short but oh so good for María! It was so nice to to see her laugh and forget about pain and life’s struggles for a bit. We even went out for dinner with Freydis' parents which was a major step for María. (Thanks for being so amazing Freydís!!)

Out of the 16 days we were home, she was in the hospital for about 6 of them. María was admitted to the hospital in Lillehammer three times after her first treatment of Liquid Sunshine. She was in the hospital because she simply couldn’t handle the pain. María is one that doesn't complain over little things. She was in so much pain she was shaking, couldn't stop moving and even sobbing her eyes out until her meds kicked in. Over the last few weeks, María was also collecting fluid in her abdomen which was causing lots of pressure and pain for her. There was so much fluid that she said she looked 4 months pregnant (her words, not mine haha). She was also having pain in her pelvis and spine. On top of all that, recovering from COVID. All three times she was admitted, they were able to get her pain under control but after the second time being admitted, she simply didn’t feel safe coming home anymore. Our time at the hospital in Lillehammer was a very busy one. She was getting MRI’s, X-Rays, Ultrasounds, and even saw a gynecologist to make sure everything was ok. The gynecologist said that everything looked great, however they said the MRI & CT scans looked suspicious. So they wanted her special doctors in Oslo to look at them. They said they didn’t want to diagnose anything and wanted the specialist in Oslo to do their own imagining and compare. Because of all this, the doctors decided that María would stay at the hospital in Lillehammer so they could monitor his pain and nausea and the new plan was that an ambulance would drive her to Oslo for her second round of Liquid Sunshine. With how sick she’s been, she would have never made it in a normal car.

When we were getting ready to go to Oslo, we called ahead and asked if it was ok for me to join her and be by her side. Unfortunately, they told us that I wasn’t able to be with María full-time like last time. They said I could only be with her for 1 hour a day. So we decided it would be best if I stayed home with the dogs. It just didn’t make sense for me to be alone all day / everyday in Oslo and then see her for 1 hour. So I stayed back, went skiing with our good friend Freydís to distract my mind and we took some turns for María on the mountain like she wanted us to!

March 8th

Once María got to Oslo, the staff worked quickly to help her. Some nurses and doctors were wondering where I was which left María and I confused. Some nurses were really amazing and said they were going to fight for us to be together! Which was really nice because we didn’t even have to ask them to! One nurse went as far as writing a note in her chart stating that I need to be there with her because I’m a great support for her and can help her relax and stay calm when things are rough. They then told María that they were going to wait on starting treatment and that I could come and be with her for the entire day the next day. But they couldn’t promise anything after that. But they said they wanted me to at least be there with her for when they would give us the results from all the tests. (This made me a nervous wreck for about 24 hours) So I packed my things and got ready to leave for Oslo the next day.

The first day she arrived in Oslo, they were working very fast and did an MRI only hours after arriving, and were just very on top of everything. María said they were treating her like a queen! (which we can all agree that she deserves to be treated like a queen because she is one!!) However, this made me feel very uncertain… I couldn’t shake the thought and the feeling that something was wrong. They bent the rules and said I could come, they said they wanted someone with her for news, they hadn't started treatment yet, and they were moving VERY FAST with imaging and other tests. (Whenever they say they want to do an MRI or anything, it always took 1-4 days before… but now everything was same day or next day).

March 9th

The next day as I was driving to Oslo, they decided to put in a draining tube into her stomach. Since they put that in, she has drained over 4 liters (over 1 gallon) of fluid from her stomach and counting... and she lost over 4 kilos (8 pounds) in weight. But don't worry, they said that this is normal with the type of therapy she is doing. They also did a biopsy on her liver (because they found spotting on her liver on imaging). The doctor told María that once I got to Oslo, her and the nurse would meet with the us and go over everything. They also told María that I could sleep at the hospital with her and be here during her entire treatment! This made us both extremely happy, all we want is just to be together through it all. But this also seemed suspicious to me. (I would like to say that I’m a very optimistic person. I believe that we can do this & we will! But I’m also realistic and everything seemed so suspicious to me. So please don’t look at me as a negative person)

Only few hours after all her new tests, we were slapped in the face once again. Just continuing to get kicked while we are still down. We spoke with the doctor & nurse and unfortunately we didn’t get good news. The doctor told us that the most recent MRI & CT scans have showed that the cancer has spread to multiple places. It’s spread to her liver, vertebrae, pelvis, and her peritoneum (a layer of her abdominal wall by her pancreas). Hearing this is obviously horrifying because we knew the type of cancer she has already has a poor prognosis but hearing that it has spread too tells us on paper that it's even less likely that she'll get through it, but WE KNOW miracles can happen! God has a plan!!

As of right now they will continue to do treatment as planned and will take new pictures after her 3rd round of Liquid Sunshine. Things aren’t looking good but there is still hope & we are going to hold onto that hope as long as we can!!! The plan is to start round 2 of Liquid Sunshine on March 10 (two days later than anticipated because they wanted to do all the other tests and give us time to recover from the news). The doctor also said that the CT scans that they took after round 1 didn’t show anything. So the doctors are thinking everything spread within the last two weeks and it could have been causing a lot of the pain that she was having between treatments.

Since the news, María and I have had lots of time to talk, snuggle, be together and tell each other how much we love each other! She has expressed that she wants to try and do lots of fun things in the coming months. We also have lots to look forward to like my parents coming at the end of the month for 3 weeks and we are very excited to have them here.

After knowing the newest update, we want to make life more fun! We want to make the best of it, make memories and have as much fun as her body allows. She has said that she wants to go to Spain soon, go hiking & mountain running in the Swiss Alps, go skiing, and make lots of fun memories with us together, our families and our closest people. So we will make that happen!! Additionally since the news, the staff is allowing for María's family to come to the hospital to spend time with her while she is doing treatment. So we are very happy about that! They are also writing a letter for my parents to get their passports expedited because they have never had one and had to apply. Without the letter, it could take between 7-8 more weeks...

As of right now, that's the newest update! We are currently in Oslo and starting round 2 of Liquid Sunshine. We are optimistic, we pray everyday, we are happy we are together and we are happy her family and my parents will all be together! We are both so sorry for the bad news but know María and I and our families all have hope still and we will never give up!

With needing to get a new car, we had to spend a lot of our funds for a new and reliable vehicle, if you still wish to support us you can do that on our Go Fund Me account, Venmo, or her Icelandic Bank. We can't thank you all enough for all your love and support. We truly have an amazing support system and we wouldn't be able to do any of this without your help!

With lots of love,

-Ryan

Ps. Here are some pictures of the last few weeks